Dear Pat,

I wrote this to address something that might be touchy subject. So I wrote in a metaphoric letter. I didn't want to bread hate for the person it's addressed to, so Ill just use his first name, "Pat". I could have, however, used his last name, "Robertson", for the same effect. Anyways, here's the letter.

Dear Pat,
I know you don't know me, but we work for the same boss. I'm sure you've heard the news, but the boss' son, "Carpenter", has taken over as the new chief of public relations. I am writing to you on his behalf.
It seems, Pat, that there have been some misunderstanding with the memo that was sent. The memo was sent out to the Company so that all of us could understand Company policy. I know, Pat, that you are a figure head of the company. You have the eyes and ears of millions of people around the world.
We are very proud of how you handle the pressure that your job entails, although, there seems to be some confusion with what we do as a Company. You see, we're a public Company, not a private one. How well our Company does highly rests on the public's response to us. The goal of a public company should be to ensure that the public wants to invest in us. We feel that you have failed in this.
Pat, you have also seemed to confuse us with our competitor. We don't, will not, and never will deal with Hate brand products. We are committed entirely to the Love brand. We have noticed a decline of sales since you've taken your position. Our competitor, however, has had sales go through the roof.
The C.O.P.R. wants me to be sure that you understand that the memo is for employees only, and is not to be pushed on potential investors. Please address these issues right away.

P.S.
Pat, you're on probation.

Sincerely, Underdog